Watch out it's time - Senior Year

Hello fellow humans. It's been a while since we have had our little tete-e-tete. I have missed you! I must say, I find this very therapeutic. Saves me money on a shrink for sure! A lot has happened in 2023 already- future posts will divulge details.

So over spring break my kids went away for a little break of their own without us. It was interesting (for us, the kids were just fine).

The first night my husband and I looked at each other as if we were seeing each other for the first time! 20+ years have passed and all of a sudden there was silence that permeated every corner of my house. Else, every evening is usually me screaming up and down the house to -

"We are getting late, hurry up!"

Or "Stop fighting you two! Can we be civil for a change. We are going into polite society and they don't know what to do with people like you!"

Or "So you wait till the last minute to tell me you have nothing to wear?"

Or "All the water in Virginia is over, please come out of the shower now!"

Or "Take out the trash! That's what I pay you an allowance for!"

Or "The dog needs to be taken out - do your duty towards the poor mutt for a change."

The list can go on forever and a day, kids find unique ways to get the blood pressure up - and we all have ours.

As we finished our work day and congregated in the kitchen (like we always do every evening) my husband and I didn't know what to do with all this time all of a sudden. We went from not a minute to ourselves to an endless sea of possibilities.

There were so many possibilities that we brought out the bottle for inspiration! We had quiet evenings in, take outs (all of a sudden take out was less than $50 and we were done with one restaurant), we watched our shows (sometimes together sometimes in separate rooms), hung out with a few friends (spring break most were out).

"Is this what retirement feels like?" we wondered.

"I'm never retiring!" we both said in unison. There is no way we are doing this to ourselves willingly.

All of a sudden the kids who have taken over our lives for the last 18 years have their own and we are literally left wondering where did ours go.

This is the last year with my senior in the house as she gets ready to go to college. Now anyone who has been a parent to a senior, even if that child is a saint, has had moments when you just want to tell your senior - "I'm done. Go find yourself new parents!" And if they say they don't, they are lying - to themselves living in denial.

I yo-yo between bawling my eyes out and doing cartwheels.

No more, "Can I come home at 1 AM."

"No!" I say getting infuriated.

"Why not?"

"Because, this house is not a hotel. It is my house and normal children come home at a reasonable hour." (Btw this is exactly what my father used to tell me - a little bit of deja vu here)

"You know, I'm an adult now." That's when I feel like taking out my hawai chappal (read slipper) and giving it flight.

"When you are in this house - you follow my rules. Come home on time!" I yell.

And on and on it goes. Ofcourse she wins, she always does.

And the silly stuff - oh my god - these kids are so preoccupied in their thoughts - a naked man would do the chicken dance in front of them - and they wouldn't notice it.

True to form my senior had one, only 1 friend over this past week for an hour before they headed out to bowling. Not sure what they did in my kitchen, I come home at 11 PM to find water in all my drawers and cabinets. Trust me, I was not a happy camper - cleaning drawers till midnight is not something one looks forward to on a work night. True to form, I called her phone and yelled my lungs out.

Finally, when she comes home (at 1 AM) she comes to my room and apologizes with tears in her eyes. Mind you the yelling happened at 11 PM.

All she said was - "Sorry mom, when I go to college you won't have to deal with these messes."

And that's it she'd said the magic words - that made my anger evaporate like someone had poured water on an open fire. I start bawling, we start bawling and that was the end of it. We hugged, kissed and made up. My husband looked on in disbelief.

Sure, the word sucker did come to mind the next day.

However, I think we as parents got that label 18 years ago! We are just realizing it now.