Ever wondered what you would earn if you charged your kids for all the drop offs, pick ups, game nights, playdates and outings with friends that you get conned into, carting them to all week every week for approximately 12 years of their young life. At $20 per trip 1 trip per day, 6 days a week, that's $75K per child over the 12 years - $150K if you have two.
That doesn't count the blood, sweat and angst you have to deal with when you do it at the end of a work day. Now that we are all slowly going back into the workplace the horrors of those days are coming back to me. I ride the metro to DC, so I come back home around 6:30 PM and start (what I call) my second job - you got it, that of an Uber driver to my kids. The only difference is, here I don't get paid. It used to be in hugs and kisses, but the older they get even those get far and in between.
I rush out of my office one evening, leaving one of my meetings half way to take my daughter for one of her classes, which I clean forgot.
"I'm really in trouble today" I think to myself.
At around 5:30 PM the metro coming back to Virginia is over full. So here I am hanging by one of their poles with my office bag in one hand and holding on to dear life with another, and the phone rings.... I maneuver myself so that I'm not going dab smack into someone's armpit (I am short) and contorting myself into a pretzel position fish for and then eventually answer my phone.
"Mom, where are you? My class starts in 3o minutes..." goes O.
"Coming honey, I will be there don't worry. Is dad home?" I ask, hoping that I can cart her off to him.
"No remember, he said he'd be coming late tonight. He had a work thing." She says.
"Of course......" I do a mental facepalm.
Suddenly N comes on the phone "There's a game tonight mom at our school, I promised my friends I'd join them. Can I go?"
"Umm...whose doing the picking and dropping?" I wonder loudly.
"If you do one round, I can ask one of the parents to do the other." Seems like a fair deal, not one to hold my kids back. "If homework's done, fine." I answer.
At my stop I practically run, stumbling on my feet to my car, fly down a 35 mph road at 60 mph and make it to the front door with 10 minutes to go before class starts. The only problem is the class is 20 minutes away. No time for niceties - I bundle one child into the car while N is trying to tell me all about her plan. I urge her to join but she's not quite ready yet. I ask her to call me and rush. Breaking down speed barriers I get there 10 minutes late.
"Mom, the teacher is going to yell at me again, this is the 6th time in a row I'm late."
"Sorry honey, I'll make my apologies to her." I reply and rush back home for my second drop.
I cool my heels on my driveway as my teenager is not yet ready and my husband calls "How's it going hon? Do you have it under control, do you want me to leave my client dinner and come home early?"
I grind my teeth and while my urge is to wring the phone I try to be the supporting wife and respond "Don't worry, I got it".
Now I'm losing my temper as N is not yet ready and I do the mental math, I have to be back to go pick up O in 40 minutes. After threats, cajoling and tears my teenager brings her makeup to the car as she's yet not done.
"We are picking up S and her parent's are dropping us, so you're off the hook." says N. I seem pretty hooked right now, but I don't say anything.
"Don't worry about dinner for me" she says "I'll eat something at school and should be home by 10.00 PM. All my homework is done and I'm ready for the quiz tomorrow so it's all under control."
All I hear is dinner.....DINNER......What's everyone eating for dinner? Crap.....there's nothing to eat.
Flying down the highway I do all my drops and finish just about in time to go pick up O. I make it 5 minutes late and feel like a heel that she's the only child waiting for her parent.
Pretty used to it now, the first words out of her mouth are "Mom, I'm starving, what's for dinner?"
"Since you've been such a great student, I thought I'd treat you to Chipotle tonight, what say?" I ask sheepishly.
"Yaay!!! Chipotle" she screams and all's right in the world.
Another hour later, we bring our bag of Chipotle home and around 9:00 PM I finally get to take my shoes off and relax. While O chows down her grub I pour myself a glass of wine.
N comes home a little early and seeing the Chipotle bag whines
"Not fair, you guys got Chipotle while I had a measly slice of Pizza."
Little does she know that I'd happily trade for that Pizza and a night at a high school game any day.
My husband follows in the front door. "Hello, How was your day hon?" he queries.
"The usual" I say "the usual" as I take a sip of my wine.
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