This past weekend my daughter went for her cheerleading competition. To the uninitiated, cheerleaders bend their bodies to accomplish some bloody amazing feats. She like her teammates, performed to the best of her ability and I walked away feeling proud for my daughter's skills.
Also, this past weekend I met one of my friends whose daughter is fighting cancer. A beautiful little 5 year old angelic child. Her mother and I go back and forth about survival rate following chemotherapy as if we are discussing which color looks best on our children.
The stark contrast of this hits me every time I think about it. Her mom considers possible side effects of hearing loss, bone marrow cancer, blurred vision, seizures and pages and pages of other possible conditions as she worries about the sheer survival of her precious little daughter. All the while I worry about college prep, a possible LinkedIn profile, college tours, grades and other mundane things for my daughter(s).
What did her mom do different than me - nothing. The little girls parents worked hard to build their life, give their child the best the world could offer just like my husband and I. They have the same hopes and dreams for their child as I do for mine. It all boiled down to sheer hard luck. They drew the short end of the stick, while we walked away holding the prize. I am almost embarrassed to talk to her about my children, lest it brings to the fore front the two different lives we lead. It almost makes my life seem trivial.
My husband always talks about how our life always boils down to the moments. Which I dismiss in the moment (pun intended), but it is so true. You have no idea what life has in store for you. That curve ball could come in from anywhere, and trust me it isn't making an appointment. The worst of it is, it could impact a loved one not you. I personally feel it is so much harder when it impacts someone close to you, someone who looks upto you with their innocent eyes full of love, and trusts you to hold their little finger and lead them to safety. You hold onto every last ounce of strength you have not to break down in front of that person and say "Honey I am trying, I really, really am."
I can't say I understand what that mom is going through because by the grace of God (or the gene pool) I have never been in that situation. However, I do understand what gut wrenching decisions she deals with on a daily basis and I thank the powers that be that I have been spared that plight.
As I hug my kids tonight, I will hold them closer for a few more minutes and say a little prayer for that mom and every mom in this situation, that her life become as trivial as mine.
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