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Writer's picturemusingsmiddleagedmom

Have You Ever....

I work hard...like we all do on a daily basis to make things work. Irrespective of kids, holiday homes, dogs, weight loss or any other baggage we have accumulated in our lives, we run that rat race hard and fast to achieve (more) or just maintain status quo.

I speed through my day slaying tasks like a samurai warrior on a mission. As I go speeding along the highway from errand to errand every once in a while, I fall behind that one car. Someone lost in thought (or life not really sure), slower than a snail, going at 30 miles per hour in a 65 miles per hour zone, minding his own business, oblivious to the world around him, but clearly spoiling mine. Let's call him Joe. Joe Schmoe is usually flanked by cars on either side, with me stuck behind him wondering what I did to piss off the Gods to be in this predicament.


I itch to flash my blinkers at him signaling him to move out of the way wondering if it will appear rude. Or just to get him to stop so that I can physically grab him by his shoulders and shake him. "Wake up dude! Don't you have somewhere to be? Things to do? If not, here I can give you my #%&@ to do. Go at it! There's a lot more where that came from!


Ofcourse, I do none of those and sit in my car and just stare at the watch, stare at the trees, curse under my breath and pray to the Gods that he finally finds a purpose in life all while I watch mine slipping away one second at a time. All because I don't want to be rude. Now if he was one of my own - trust me he wouldn't ever touch a car again.


Slowly but surely, we inch along the freeway one centimeter at a time as cars in the fast lane zip by. I can actually picture them laughing at me all while displaying the L sign on their forehead directed at me and everyone behind me.


The line behind us has probably become 10 miles long by now, I think to myself. Does Joe know that he probably is costing the US economy money at this point in lost opportunity cost. (What did they teach in economics a bazillion years ago?), did he never take Economics in school, I wonder. I can just imagine millions of dollars going out of the coiffeurs of the treasury all because I wanted to appear polite. Now, I feel the weight of the world on my shoulders or atleast that of the US economy. How does Joe not realize all this!!!!!! Is he blind! The President of the free world is counting on me to act - I have to be the hero of the hour.


With sweat beading on my face, for the sake of the world I put my hand on the lever to flash my lights and just as I am about to pull it, the guy next to him moves. I have an opening and I grab it with both hands. Hitting the accelerator as if my life depended on it I speed up to pass him and get out of my misery. Just as I'm passing him by, I turn to look and notice his glassy eyes, both hands on the steering wheel deep in - something. Oh, what would I give right now to get in his car and turn up the volume on the radio - to a rock channel.


I feel sorry for the poor dear BUT I am finally free! I feel like I have just been freed from a 10 yearlong prison sentence, such is my joy! All my struggles and the dire state of the US economy is forgotten. Let the next car behind me produce the hero of the hour and put this dude in his place, I think to myself, as I zip along to my next stop doing my bit for society!


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