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Writer's picturemusingsmiddleagedmom

Grass - What Grass?

Updated: May 1, 2023

Ok folks it's a rant today.........since my husband runs off the moment I begin, I have to burn up someone's ears - right?!

First and foremost - what's with the husbands? I try to be the voice of reason, advising, guiding and everything in between. Isn't that what the village elders tell you when you get married? You are in it together and all that jazz........I might as well have been talking to the walls. It all falls on deaf ears.

Finally, when as predicted the $%^$^ starts hitting the proverbial fan - then they finally wake up and smell the roses. Then it is "Yes, honey I screwed up. You were right." I could actually punch someone at the moment. Mind you I don't condone physical violence in any fashion - even against that damn pillow that I beat up sometimes. PS: I apologize later (to the pillow).

Why, oh why do I have to go through the frustrating, gut wrenching, heart bleeding thing that husbands call nagging, despite which we land up here. Do it yourself, they say? Some decisions are unfortunately big enough that they have to be joint ones. Others, yes - what can I say I may be equally to blame. Like for example changing the filters on your damn HVAC. I could go blue in the face asking him to do that - and then when the system fails - sigh.....

Then ofcoarse come the kids......my teenagers (both are great kids) but man do I have to go after them to eat healthy, drive safe, keep reasonable hours, this is a home not a hotel, mom's credit card is not free money, why do you have to step out at midnight etc. - and it goes on and on.

Be a mom he says - I admit I cannot be the hard@## strict parent that one needs to be when dealing with teenagers. I am a major softie, my kids just have to shed a tear and I melt like that chocolate bar left out on a hot sunny day - much to my husband's dismay. Then the roles are reversed - on the nagging piece, all while my kids are having a laugh at their parent's expense.

The work front is no bloody easy deal - work pressures sometimes have you working late hours, early morning and everything in between. We do it to ourselves says a friend of mine, taking on the extra load rather than pushing back or delegating. However, when everyone is drowning, and deadlines of board submission are looming what can you do but roll up your sleeves and hunker down. Else, you are not a good team player.

Then finally, there's that one friend (we all have those) who always says - "You lead the good life - 2 grown up kids, traveling around the world, all the time to yourselves, not a care in the world."

Good life, yes really good life.......please remind me of that

When I finish a long day and have to drop my child to that activity, that I kick myself for having her join in the first place, or

When your child is working late on an assignment so you pick up her chores so she's not overworked, or

When someone messed up your bathroom and it's in between monthly cleanings and you can't use a dirty bathroom, or

When all you'd rather do is put up your feet and relax but need to make sure you get dinner on the table first, one that - everyone turns up their noses on eating, or

When you have to deal with scheduling conflicts between the 4 of you almost daily, or

When you have to leave a meeting in the middle because someone needs to be picked up or dropped off, or

When you are really looking forward to that vacation but have a 1000 chores to finish before so things run smoothly while you are gone. The list is endless.

We spend our entire life trying to balance all the roles we play and call it work-life balance - it finally hit me, management speak for all the #$% that you need to deal with.

Seeing a pattern here? Maybe it's me.....maybe all I need is therapy or a good coach to tell me that I do this life #$%$ all wrong. 40 years in maybe a tad bit late but atleast it would be a beginning...right?! Or I could move to the Himalayas and lead a life of a hermit.

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