My chum and I sat at our favorite local haunt one evening shooting the breeze over some Martinis.
Extra dirty, extra olives please - thank you!
All of our offices being in DC and with the pandemic (almost) behind us, we all work on different hybrid schedules. With the famed I-66 becoming the high occupancy tolled preferred option into DC, we all look for ways to car pool and save a few dollars.
"Do you take the car into DC? Where do you park?" inquires Sophie as she is getting ready to become a DC gal, popping one of the olives in her mouth. "Hey that was mine!" I think to myself.
"I take the metro in, driving into DC is a traumatic experience." I reply.
"And the metro isn't?" she innocently asks.
"Well......everytime I take the car in I am either yelling at folks from my car or getting cursed at. With the metro it is just a bunch of crazys, atleast I'm not afraid for my life."
Sophie just looks at me with her drink in hand and says - "explain!"
I start my story with the famous words - "Once upon a time, long long ago.....(before the pandemic).....there was a time when I used to drive into DC everyday. I would drive in every morning fighting cars, kids, wives, husbands and everyone in between. Ofcoarse, being a single occupant I couldn't take I-66 so it would be all the possible back roads. I would try every one of them to see where I could shave 10 minutes off my commute. God help you if you there was an accident, there goes the 10 minute time saving out the window. I think that was the only time when I'd get angry at the folks that were involved in the accident as opposed to feel sympathy for them. " Can't you just be careful! Have an extra cup of coffee if you can't stay awake." I'd mutter under my breath.
The worse part was though
a) finding parking and
b) coming back to your car at the end of the work day.
My office was not in the most upscale part of town, let's say. Every time I'd walk upto my car at the end of the work day, I'd circle around it to ensure I have all four tires and the steering wheel was yet intact. If for some reason I'd forgotten to lock the car (and recalled while sitting at my desk) I'd break out into a sweat in the office, dropping everything (like my backside was on fire) I'd run back to my car to ensure all was ok."
"And then ofcoarse it is the commute back home. At 5 PM trying to just get out of the parking lot was an ordeal. It's like the boogie man had taken over every driver you would encounter and all the nice/polite people you would encounter in the office had turned into these monsters. First no one, and I mean no one will give you way to just get out of the parking lot and merge onto one of the DC streets. Then trying to just get onto the I-395 you could be waiting in lines (that no one will again let you enter, so you are kind of waiting in a sub-line of a line) that could easily take you upwards of 20 minutes. You sit there wondering why the damn line doesn't move and look up to see that every tom, dick, harry and their dog is trying to cut the line just up ahead of you. So while you are trying to maintain order no body else really else gives a shit!"
"So heck with it I say, I'll take the US-50 home. Oh boy, was that a mistake. I remember, invariably merging onto US-50 while someone was speeding down the road (how in that traffic, I don't know). Birds were flipped, lots of yelling and cursing later I stand at the light minding my own business a little shaken. All of a sudden I hear a large thud at my door. The guy who I had merged in front of was banging on my door getting ready for a fist fight, all while standing at a stop light! I actually remember thinking to myself what do I do - Get out of the car and take a swing at him or just drive off? Thankfully just then, the light turned green and everyone behind me started honking. The decision was taken out of my hands. So while that guy was yet in the middle of the road rolling up his sleeves yelling at me, I was rolling away from him.
The Metro is easier - every once in a while a dirty, stinky homeless person that hasn't seen a shower for days will show up and want to sit next to you. You will see an errant rat run by your feet on one of the metro stations in down town DC or when you get on at the busiest time of the day and are squeezed up against someone's armpit. Or someone will just poke you while you are sitting minding your own business to ask for money for coffee and breakfast. Much more bearable, compared to the other - no?" I ask.
"Maybe I just need to find another job." Sophie mused out loud as she downed her drink in one shot.
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